minor celeberity

(Ooh-wah...)

(Ooh-wah...)

Bad taste...

(Has company.)

Bad taste...

(Has company.)

VERSE 1

I can make a bad idea

look good under fluorescent light.

(Ooh...)

Velvet-rope vocabulary,

mouth full of extraordinary.

First-class catastrophe

(Five stars.)

Five-star personality,

I’ve made a whole career

out of plausible deniability.

(Deny it, deny it...)

I’ve made a fine impression

on some deeply awful people.

Funny how the worst of them

always find me charismatic.

(Charismatic...)

When malice meets mischief,

attraction’s automatic.

Bad blood knows its own

(Ooh-wah...)

even dressed up diplomatic.

PRE-CHORUS

I was only being charming...

(Charming...)

till somebody took me seriously.

(Seriously?)

I’m a cult of personality

(Ooh-wah, ooh-wah...)

bad taste loves company.

CHORUS

I’m a minor celebrity

(Minor celebrity!)

a major liability.

(Major liability!)

Too much audacity

for a room with no capacity.

(Ooh-wah...)

Low-rent notoriety,

high-end impropriety.

Nobody knows me

in polite society.

(They don’t know you...)

I’m a minor celebrity—

(Minor celebrity!)

a major liability.

(Major liability!)

Too much audacity

for a room with no capacity.

(No capacity...)

POST-CHORUS

Ooh-wah...

minor celebrity.

Ooh-wah...

major liability.

VERSE 2

Soft launch, hard sell,

hot flash, hotel

(Ooh...)

I can turn a private failure

into something that photographs well.

Quick wit, slow leak,

high cheek, low peak

everybody wants a piece of me

(Ooh-wah...)

but no one wants the custody.

Gold star, bad press,

best-dressed train wreck

public breakdown...

(Networking event.)

Name tag, gift bag,

price tag, body bag

(Ooh-wah, ooh-wah...)

I’ve got a knack for making

every red flag look like swag.

Meet-and-greet, missing teeth,

smile wide, speak sweet

they’re lining up to shake my hand

(Shake, shake...)

I’m counting fingers as they leave.

BREAK

Don’t get familiar, darling...

(Don’t get familiar.)

You’re only here to meet

the person you invented

(Ooh...)

when you paid to look at me.

DOO-WOP TURNAROUND

Sha-la-la...

Paid to look.

Sha-la-la...

Now look away.

BRIDGE

Raise a glass,

lower standards—

(Lower...)

let the beautiful offend.

I’m nobody worth knowing

(Ooh-wah...)

till the wrong people recommend.

Good name—

(Bad influence.)

Clean hands

(Crooked friends.)

I’ve got a face for the occasion

and nowhere decent

to attend.

BACKGROUND

(Ooh-wah...)

No invitation.

(Ooh-wah...)

No occasion.

(Ooh-wah...)

Still showed up.

PRE-CHORUS

I was only being charming—

(Charming!)

till somebody took me seriously.

(Seriously!)

I’m a cult of personality

(Ooh-wah, ooh-wah...)

bad taste loves company.

FINAL CHORUS

I’m a minor celebrity

(Minor celebrity!)

a major liability.

(Major liability!)

Too much audacity

for a room with no capacity.

(No capacity!)

Low-rent notoriety,

high-end impropriety.

Nobody knows me

in polite society.

(Polite society...)

I’m a minor celebrity

(Minor celebrity!)

a major liability.

(Major liability!)

Too much audacity

for a room with no capacity.

FINAL TAG — band cuts, voices remain

(Ooh-wah...)

Minor celebrity.

(Ooh-wah...)

Major liability.

Bad taste—

(Loves company.)

Bad taste—

(Loves company.)

Bad taste...

hard stop