Asteroid Auto-Repair

The Cosmic Counter-Order: "Asteroid Auto-Repair"

**[Verse 1]**

My engine went spark right in front of the sign,

Blocking thirty-five ships in the drive-thru line!

A six-armed mechanic with a wrench and a grin,

Told me, "Pop up the hood, let the space-gremlins in."

He poked at my warp drive, he kicked at my tire,

And accidentally set my navigation on fire!

**[Chorus]**

Oh, the tow truck is coming from the rings of Neptune,

But the driver got stuck on the dark side of the moon!

They're charging per lightyear, my credit is blown,

And my hyper-drive engine is making a moan!

Yeah, fixing your ship in a cosmic garage,

Is a financial trap and a total mirage!

**[Verse 2]**

He offered an upgrade from a junk junkyard planet,

Said, "This hyper-compressor is made out of granite!"

He slapped on a sticker that said 'Guaranteed Fast',

Then my left thruster shot out a radioactive blast!

The windshield wiped backward, the radio played,

A static-y polka from some old decade.

**[Chorus]**

Oh, the tow truck is coming from the rings of Neptune,

But the driver got stuck on the dark side of the moon!

They're charging per lightyear, my credit is blown,

And my hyper-drive engine is making a moan!

Yeah, fixing your ship in a cosmic garage,

Is a financial trap and a total mirage!

**[Spoken]**

"Sir, your anti-matter gasket is completely fried. We can replace it, but the part won't arrive until the next solar eclipse."

"Can't you just duct tape it with space-tape?!"

"That'll be an extra five thousand space-bucks, human."

**[Verse 3]**

I paid him in crypto from a dead comet's core,

He pointed his laser and showed me the door.

I drifted away at two miles an hour,

With a blinker that's broken and zero main power!

**[Outro]**

Next time I break down...

I'm walking to Mars.

At least they have mechanics...

Who don't charge by the stars.

Over and out.