Lusterless

I don't like my pictures

I... I never really did

I always find something wrong

every time

I'm in it

The angle?

The lighting?

yeah, I've used those poses before

Same shit

I just look tired

yeah, it's been a long week

It's been a long week?

for the last six years man

Say what you actually mean

I'm writing my director's cut, of my inner demons

they appear at any time, and for no fucking reason

Rituals in my head, like a big ass haunting legion

all I want right now, is being finally free man

Am I okay?

no

Thanks for asking

how polite

hehe

anyways

I pick apart a tiny bit, until the picking turns to habit

Call me self-aware, because it makes the damage valid

I can tell you where it started, name the trigger, map the pattern

and I know the diagnosis, still can't tell you what happened

I don't need a therapy, I do it from my memory

the worst copy of me, in perfect fucking clarity

your compliment gets stripped, until it's just a little charity

once again the demons laugh

See? They all agree with me

Hmm

and when theres a harmless pause, I can easily weaponize it

Catch a smirk inside your face, freeze the frame and analyze it

Give me half a second silence, I'll invent a meaning, memorize it

Nice response

You rationalize it!

Okay okay let's change another detail, maybe I'll hate me less

sacrifice another me, for something easy to digest

dare to do a little more, climb up to your success

Then I look at what's remaining

why the fuck's it just a mess?

I change and I change

why do I look like this

why do I look so lusterless

I pray and I pray

tear another layer off

I don't think I'll be enough

Bullshit!

Bullshit?

I'm about to pull it

Let me pull it off!

don't, don't

look at me

I know

what you see

cut, cut

cut the feed

I don't wanna hear me speak

pull the plug

and rest in fucking piss!

But make it this time!

I can't

I can't

I can't stand this burning skin!

I can fix this

fix what?

Me?

me, me, me, me

That's the problem

Who will solve this?

This is haunting

Everything's falling

falling

falling

I change and I change

why do I look like this

why do I look so lusterless

why do I look so lusterless