Twenty Times

tie the bag

pull it tight

check the knot

looks alright

then i do it twice

then i do it four

then somehow i'm standing here

doing twenty more

what the hell happened

somewhere along the way

that little knot got a hold on me

and won't let me walk away

twenty times

same damn tie

i know that knot is solid

still i check it one more time

twenty times

there's the door

hand comes back around

and here we go once more

i've had this brain

since i was a kid

somewhere along the line

my head picked up this stupid shit

maybe it's a little rule

that nobody else can see

maybe my brain decided

twenty's where it needs to be

twenty times

same damn tie

i know it's fucking finished

still i gotta verify

twenty times

pull it through

what the hell am i proving

what's this knot supposed to do

one

two

three

four

five

by ten i'm rolling my eyes

by fifteen i'm thinking

you've gotta be kidding me

twenty times

there it is

finally feels finished

for about a minute

twenty times

then i'm free

until some other little thing

decides it needs me

maybe someday i'll figure out

why my brain works this way

but right now that bag is tied

and that's enough today