four inches

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It's not a death cult, honest!

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i'm not a grower, or a show 'er

but you can still get down and blow 'er

you said "bring your best" and i brought this

well i thrust but you can't feel it

it must be me doin' that squealin'

please don't ask for me to use my fist

in millimeters it's one oh one point six

but you don't need metric to respect this dick!

chorus

four inches of power

four inches all day

four inches of thunder

zero inches of shame!

four inches of pleasure

four inches hurray

four inches, i measured.

and zero inches of gay!

i didn't pack lunch but i did bring a snack

it's a fun size candy bar that you can unwrap

you could call it a shortcoming, and i might agree

i think that's accurate on a technicality

yeah i'm four inches long, and three quarters wide

you won't have any trouble fitting me inside

i brought the whole package, but it's travel-sized

i wrote you this song, so don't act surprised

no i can't afford another happy ending massage

so please let me park my short bus in your garage!

chorus

four inches of power

four inches all day

four inches of thunder

zero inches of shame!

four inches of pleasure

four inches hurray

four inches, i measured.

and zero inches of gay!

you say "show me what you got"

i say "okay, don't blink"

you say "damn that's not a lot"

i say "okay, don't speak"

final chorus

four inches of power

four inches all day

four inches of thunder

zero inches of shame!

four inches of pleasure

four inches hurray

four inches, i measured.

and zero inches of gay!